there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
