Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize