No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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