is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
