You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
