We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
