My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
