Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
