ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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