Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
