You're my little dorito
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He? As in you personified your dick?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
