if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
