Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
