Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
