So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
