I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
