This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
