So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I met the friendliest cop last night
home. puking in laundry basket.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
