I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I faked an abortion last night.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize