Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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