I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
