he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
