There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize