my vag is so smooth its legendary
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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