So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
