I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
