Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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