You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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