yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
