So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
