oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
