i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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