Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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