I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
