i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
