..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just had sex on a roof
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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