what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
