You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
they need to just BURY HIM!
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize