we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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