He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
