You're completely useless in the revolution.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
