Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
