I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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