Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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