We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Randomize
