the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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