Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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