The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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