You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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