i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
