He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
