Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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