Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
