Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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