we're blogging at a bar
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
