The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
