she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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