I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I can tuck mytits in my pants
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
