We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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