so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Is it because I queefed?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
