Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
