I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
