God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
